In every area of her life, a godly woman will seek to glorify her Maker and not herself. Therefore, she seeks to have a modest spirit in her speech and actions and not only in her outward appearance. But how does this look practically, and how can we as women improve in these areas?
The Bible has a lot to say about our speech and actions as Christians in general (I encourage you to look more into those verses as well!), but right now I am going to focus on what God’s Word says more specifically about a woman’s speech and actions.
First, here are some negative examples: Proverbs 11:22 says, “Like a gold ring in pig’s snout is a beautiful woman without discretion.” Four times in Proverbs it also mentions a quarrelsome woman, one of which is Proverbs 21:19, “It is better to live in a desert land than with a quarrelsome and fretful woman.”
Here are verses we can look to for examples and see what our Father wants us to be: Proverbs 31 shows us an excellent example… Specifically pertaining to actions and speech, verse 12 says that “She does him (her husband) good and not harm, all the days of her life.” Verses 25-27 of the same chapter says, “Strength and dignity are her clothing and she laughs at the time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.” Isn’t that beautiful?
I Peter 3:2 talks about wives winning their husbands to the Lord by their conduct, “When they see your respectful and pure conduct”. Two verses later (verse four) describes the spirit we should have: “But let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.”
I Timothy 2:9 tells us what makes a Christian woman attractive. “Likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness- with good works. Let a woman learn quietly with all submissiveness.”
Many discussions have taken place over I Peter 3:4, which is written above. Does this verse mean woe to the girls who are just naturally outgoing and talkative? First, the Bible is talking about a feminine spirit that has peace with God and their fellow man, making a heart at rest. Second, God has given us all differing personalities with different gifts to make His church complete, and every personality needs to be refined to be like Christ’s. Therefore, the loud, outgoing personality may have to work harder to watch her words and actions to be like Christ’s, while the shy, quiet personality may have to put more effort into reaching out to the lonely and speaking words of encouragement and testimony.
Women have a lot of power, whether we realize it or not. We influence and persuade and help and manipulate. Modesty requires covering up some of this power… I like to call it meekness. Jesus is our perfect example of meekness, power under control. He always sought to please His heavenly Father, even when that meant dying a horrible death, when he could have avoided it. We need His Spirit if we are going to succeed in being modest women who glorify our Father. With this meekness and modesty, a woman does not seek attention by making sure she is heard or seen, but looks out to include everyone and build them up.
A femine, modest woman is reserved in her speech and actions. I don’t know what all positive or negative connotations that word “reserved” brings up in your mind, but boundaries and good things come to my mind. When something, like food, has the label “Reserved” on it, it tells you that that special object has a specific purpose. Let’s think about the picture in the Song of Solomon 4:12- “A garden locked is my sister, my bride, a spring locked, a fountain sealed.” Oh, how Solomon reveled in his bride and opening the gate to that beautiful, untainted garden! Contrast that to the picture in Proverbs of the pretty gold ring in a pig’s snout… We all know now which we would choose to be; but sometimes in the moment, it is difficult to remember and act accordingly. “Reserve” is a good word, describing a woman that is set apart for God and His glory.
Does this mean then, that we need to stuff our words and feelings and hide our talents and beauty? Praise the Lord, no. 🙂 God made us unique for a reason, and it is good to express yourself. But- it does mean that when we express our words and feelings and talents and beauty, it needs to go through God’s filter!! You can be yourself and still be reserved. We are all humans, and women and men alike are born in sin with tendency to sin; therefore we all need Jesus’s help to be pure and meek like Him. Yes, we need to process and destress and enjoy life and be spontaneous, but it also needs to be with the Holy Spirit’s help. I know it’s difficult- actually, it’s impossible without God. We’ll grow tired of filtering and trying to appear perfect really fast if we’re trying to do it on our own- I know from my own experiences! God will renew our strength when we look to Him, and He’ll help you to be successful all the time. There are times that call for higher reserve than others, like when we are with boys & men, and other times where we can let that down with our family and girlfriends. Always though, Christ calls us to be like Him in speech and action.
I ask you to examine yourself- your life. Who are you really trying to lift up and get praise for? Words and actions can be very subtle, but they speak more loudly than we think at times. May God be your Strong Filter and Strength, as you look to Him for help and aim to glorify Him more!
*American Standard Version for the Bible quotations
Blogging Credits : Lynnette Hege
Lynnette is a woman of Jesus serving with her husband Leonard is Mexico. She has a gentle and beautiful spirit and blesses many people in different areas of life as she continues to serve others.
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