But in the moment and the pain it doesn’t make sense…..the tears come over and over. I wonder and think. It feels confusing, and I can’t sort it out. I don’t even know how to talk.
I must come to rest in God. I need to have my faith in God completely and wholeheartedly. God has not allowed this trial just because He did not want to stop it. He allowed this exact circumstance to be in my life at this appointed time, because He has a reason and purpose for it. Am I able to to trust in His faithfulness because He has not left me before? He has met me at my low spots and He will again. He is God. He is Omnipotent, having all power.
And then I see a glimpse of Jesus. He brings a special person at just the right time. That note, hug and cup of coffee are extra special. The sun shining on the trees is a love touch from Jesus when I needed it most. Jesus continues to show Himself True and Faithful even in the hardest moments when I don’t see it myself.
I have a choice. Do I want to become bitter or better through this situation. I can become more refined and beautiful through it. If I choose to grow through it, allowing Jesus to change me, and use others to care for me, I will be better equipped to understand myself and others later in life.
It’s hard. The surrender and joy don’t come easy. Some days I just don’t know, and the pain is too deep. And it’s okay for me to not always understand and be fine. Surrender is casting our anger, pain and intense emotions at Jesus’ feet and asking Him to help me surrender. It’s letting the tears come and telling Him how I feel.
But today I choose to be surrendered and claim joy! Deep inside I know that is what I want. I don’t want to be out of God’s plan for my life. I desire to become more beautiful through it. I want to hold His hand in complete surrender because He is faithful, and has not let me down once.
…..And even though it’s seems impossible now, I even desire to come to a place where I can thank Jesus for allowing this situation…..”God, You are good all the time.
” Blessed be the God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort; Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.” 2 Corinthians 1: 3-4
We can’t control everything that happens to us, but we can control how we choose to respond to things we can’t control. – Avis J. Williams