The trauma that happened to you is not your fault. Find someone who will tell you that over and over. Don’t give up. You are worthy. You matter. Your feelings matter. Your story matters. It takes a long time to believe that it truly was not our fault. That we could’ve done something differently. Or that we could have prevented it. For years I believed the things that happened to me were my fault. I believed that if only I had been a better little girl my mom would have wanted me. Perhaps even loved me. I spent most of my life trying to make my mom love me. It was only in recent years that I know there was nothing – NOT ONE THING – I could have done to make her love me or want me. And neither could you. We were little children – babies, some of us. We didn’t know – couldn’t know.
The journey through trauma healing is not pleasant. It is long and messy and hard. It’s full of ups and downs. Sometimes it feels like I take 2 steps forward and 3 steps back. I’m learning to be grateful for the good days. And on the bad days, I reach out to my ‘Mom’. That was a huge step
in and of itself – to be able to reach out to someone when the days are dark. What might look like baby steps to some people, are huge for us who are going through trauma healing. It takes lots and lots of encouragement. It takes even more tears. Kindness. Be gentle with yourself.
You’ve already suffered too much. Jesus never meant for you to carry this grief alone. Find someone to help you. Someone who will listen. Someone who will care about your heart. Someone who cares about the wounds inside. Someone who will be gentle enough help you heal. Seek professional help. There are lots of resources available to help with trauma healing. I have personally done two different types of trauma therapy, both of which I would highly recommend. EMDR therapy and neurofeedback. Both have been very helpful. I recognize that each person/situation is different and what may work for me may not be the best option for
another person. If you don’t have access to therapy, find a few books to read or podcasts to listen to. Dr. Bessel Van Der Kolk ‘s book, The Body Keeps the Score, is a good place to start. Or Janina Fisher’s
book, Healing the Fragmented Selves of Trauma Survivors is another good one. Lysa Terkeurst has several good books as well. One of my favorites from her is It’s Not Supposed to be This Way. Larry Crabb, Dan Allender, Donald Miller, Philip Yancey all have some really good books to help you get started. Find books that speak to your soul. If you listen to podcasts or have access to you tube, here’s a small list to help you get started.
Lysa Terkeurst are a few you might want to check out.
I most likely don’t know you, but feel free to reach out. I would be more than happy to share the things I’ve learned along the way. I’m not done healing yet. I don’t know
if I will ever be ‘done’ this side of heaven. I still have days when I’m not sure how I will get through. We all do. It’s part of the life we are called to live here.
-Here is the remaining part of the article and resources from a survivor friend! May Jesus bless you and may you find rest in Him as you journey through trauma or be a friend to someone walking that road.
This podcast is very helpful- I would encourage you to listen to it! This podcast does really well explaining FASD.