Part 3

After looking at why we would want to be modest ladies, and a bit of Biblical history on wearing clothes, it’s time to get to how to be modest.

Are you thinking this is going to be pretty hard? Aren’t we all going to come out at different places according to what church we go to, our upbringing, the culture of the country we live in, and etc.?

Yes! And that’s why I’ve been procrastinating on getting to this. That, and the fact that it’s all-important to have decided Who and What I am going to follow.

Sometimes we hear that it doesn’t matter how we dress. “If it’s going to cause men problems, they just need to clean up their minds.” I’m not going to rehash that all here, although I would be glad to have a personal conversation with you, if you wish.

I will say that there is never an excuse for a male to take advantage of a female. When horrible abuse happens, innocent victims often feel like it must be their fault. If this has happened to you, you do not need to carry the shame of another person’s sin. Please find a trusted adult to talk to about this.

About what God says about our dress… Does He care? He does. He clothed Adam and Eve with appropriate clothing to cover their shame. He designed dignified clothes for the priests of the Old Testament, and in the New Testament, we get a glimpse into what Jesus wore while He was on earth. God even tells us what the saints will wear in Heaven.

First Timothy 2:9 tells us to decorate ourselves with modest clothes, with shamefacedness (the idea of downcast [not bold], bashfulness [toward men], awe [toward God], and reverence). We should have sobriety (soundness of mind, sanity, self-control, soberness), and should not be decorated with broided hair (exquisitely and intricately arranged), gold, pearls, or costly array, but with good works.

First Peter 3:3,4 says to not let your decoration be the outward decoration of elaborate hairstyles, wearing gold, or your clothing. But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which will not die, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.

Are you seeing the picture in your mind of this lovely, feminine, lady? Let’s look into what is making her so attractive.

Look back a few verses in 1 Tim:1-6. The motivation for the command to women is a relationship with God, a response to what He has done for us. Now we reflect Him! Instead of living the way we want to, trying to fit Jesus into our lives wherever it doesn’t rock the boat too much, we must build our whole life around Him.

   Being created in the image of God, and then surrendering our lives to Him, fills us with power from the Holy Spirit to radically impact the culture we live in.

True beauty. We all want to be beautiful. God wants us to be beautiful, too, so much that He tells us clearly where that beauty should come from, and how it will be expressed. Will it come from Hollywood- wanting to dictate our worldview, or the fashion industry- wanting our money, or something that we put on? No! It will be that “hidden man of the heart”- Jesus flowing out through us. It will His grace upon us, and Him receiving the glory.  Jesus tells us as His disciples to learn of Him, to “put on” His attributes. 1 John 2:15, 16 tells us that we cannot love the world- the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, if we love our King.

What do you want people to see when they look at you? Two of my daughters were recently outside an airport, waiting for their ride, when a man approached them and asked them what they represent. In the course of their conversation, he expressed appreciation a couple times for their modest dress.

A few years ago, Tony and I went to a beach. There were other people there, so we went to the edge of the water and sat in the sand, talking and looking out over the ocean. A man jogged by, veered over to us, and said, “I just want you to know that I really appreciate what you stand for”, and jogged on, too quickly for us even to reply. On that trip also, in the Bahamas, I was approached by a local woman, who stated excitedly, “You’re a believer!” We often don’t realize it or think of it, but our appearance is a testimony to the life of Jesus within us; it draws people who are seeking and may give us an opportunity to witness of the Gospel. Share your stories in the comments, and how they encouraged you!

It may not always be approval that you get. “The preaching of the cross is foolishness to them that perish.” I love to snow ski, and I decided that I can ski in a dress. With snow pants underneath, and a warm coat on top, I can ski and still feel like a lady! I have been yelled at, “Skiing in a skirt?!” But I have also been treated respectfully and chivalrously. When we are at peace in our relationship with God, we can smile and show genuine compassion to people, even those who ridicule us for doing what we feel God wants us to do.

There is a lot of pressure for androgyny in our world. Evolution, feminism, humanism, homosexual and transgender agendas have been a downward drag of distorting God’s plan for mankind. Do not be afraid to be a beautiful, strong, loving woman in today’s world. People are longing and hungry to see something real, true. One afternoon we were walking the streets, inviting children to summer Bible School. An older man saw us ladies, lifted up his hands reverently, and exclaimed, “I just see all these angels coming down the sidewalk!”

You don’t need to apologize for dressing like a lady. In the heart of every confused feminist is a longing to be healed and respected, to be valued and accepted, to be able to express themselves as God made them.

If you are tempted to buy into the advertising of the makeup industry to try to make yourself beautiful, I encourage you to evaluate the origins of that industry and contrast it with 1 Tim. and 1 Peter.

Proverbs 7 talks about a harlot, who was not a professional prostitute, but a married woman with the spirit of a harlot. She is suggestive, beguiling and bold, and men are warned to stay far from her. I suggest that many beauty and fashion magazines, as well as websites and advertising are buying into this image. If you do not want to have an outcome like this spirit leads to, find edifying things to read and look at!

On a practical note, there are some things you can do that are easy and simple if skin issues are causing you stress. Eat a healthy, old-fashioned diet! Say no to sugar and junk food. Eat plenty of saturated animal fats (the way our ancestors ate before modern processed food and modern diseases), which will make your skin hydrated and beautiful. Drink plenty of water, and ignore the sweet drinks.

Most of all, if you want a beautiful face, live close to God. Prayerfully study His Word; ask Him to reveal Himself to you and change you. Trust Him for your day and your future. He cares about your life, and has your best in mind. When you sin, humble yourself and repent. Keep your conscience clear before God and in your relations with other people. The image of your King will be reflected on your face!

So, in expressing our relationship with Jesus, we will seek to be consistent in our dress. Many churches have agreements that relate to the witness that our group will be in our community. If you wish to identify with a group, I encourage you to embrace their vision. There may be applications that you don’t understand, and areas where you will surrender your personal likes or dislikes for your community. I hope you can discuss them in the light of God’s Word with your parents. Also, there may be ministers, their wives, or other older people in the congregation who can help you understand why and how those guidelines were decided on. They may have seen things and fought battles for Truth, which gave them courage and conviction to stand where they did. Listen to their stories, their experiences, and learn from their wisdom. Study God’s Word- He has so many principles for our lives.

Biblical guidelines for dress speak of simplicity. Simple, not putting things on to decorate ourselves, not expensive attire. With pop culture of social media, humility and simplicity are in grave danger of being discarded. What we wear is a reflection of our hearts. Do we truly believe our beauty is internal and Spirit-driven. Will we treat our body as a temple- a place of consecration to our Savior? On “costly array”- consider: Is the money you earn yours, or God’s. He has entrusted you with riches to bless and enlarge His Kingdom. We find many things we can do without when we consider the needs of the world at large, and make ourselves sensitive to God’s leading money-wise.

Some practical ideas for today: Learn the art of sewing well. It can be hard to find clothes that are going to fit your worldview, but if you can sew, you can make beautiful clothes that fit well.

There are many types of fabrics to choose from. Some may be easier to wear modestly than others. Some types of fabrics only very slender girls can wear without uncovering their nakedness. Elastic knit fabrics are designed with the purpose to be form-fitting and still allow a person to move. How can we say we are “covering ” what God wants covered when in actuality we are accentuating every bump and curve. I highly recommend the book, “Feminine Beauty”, by Evelyn Miller and I quote her here because she describes this perfectly. “We do not need to totally smother our femininity or deny the fact that we have curves, but if we dress in a way that clearly reveals the size and shape of our contours, then we are playing with fire. Although gravity dictates that garments will show the top side of our curves, when our clothing pulls in and hugs tightly to reveal the underside contours of these curves, it becomes inappropriate. If the garment is designed to make a focal point at the bust line or other curves, it is immodest.”

That includes baby bumps! When we are expecting a baby is not a time to lower our standards.

Do we need to cover our bodies because they are wicked? Remember, God created us beautiful and wants us to be beautiful. But the unveiling of that beauty is not for just anyone to get glimpses of, but for our Lord in that our bodies are a living sacrifice, a testament of His holiness. If we marry, what an amazing gift to our husband alone; keeping our body for him, truly doing him good and not evil all the days of our lives. (Prov. 31:16)

Be careful of modesty in your home as well as out of it. Care for your family by being fully dressed outside of your bedroom or bathroom. Care for the men in your family by throwing away advertisements with immodest models on them.

Let your carefulness in how you dress be motivated by and produce in you a love for others. If God has shown you areas in your life that need changed and you claim victory over them, never let this give you feelings of pride or superiority, but instead gratefulness to God for the privilege of being His servant, and for what He has worked in you.

You are in a war. Decide that you will side with your Creator and Redeemer. Then let your faith grow (by the Word of God), study your King’s manual (the Word of God!), and remember, you are on the winning side.

“But as He which hath called you is holy, so be ye holy in all manner of conversation” (the way you live your life). 1 Peter 1:15

Blogging credits to Wendy Weaver

Photography credits to Ginger Weaver

Part 2

In my last post, I talked about why, as daughters of the King, we would want to be modest. (1 Corinthians 6:19, 20)

When we surrender our lives to God, He asks us for all. Is that too much to ask? Think of Jesus’ sacrifice; He gave everything: Heaven’s glory, being born as a helpless baby into a poor family; He had nowhere to lay His head. His followers badgered, betrayed, and denied Him. And then He bore the shame of a cruel death, with all the sin of the entire race heaped upon Him.

When we accept that free gift of salvation, our hearts overwhelm with gratitude, and we are filled with a deep reverence for God and desire to obey Him. If we say, “Yeah, thanks, God,” and then go on serving ourselves, we throw that gift of the power of the Holy Spirit working in our lives to make us more like Jesus, right back at our King.

But when we follow Christ, read His Word, talk to Him regularly throughout the day, listen for His still small voice in our conscience, we believe what He has told us about ourselves… (“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, You are bought with a price, You are a chosen generation…”) Just read your Bible over and over and soak up what God says to You!

As our love for our King grows, we know that God is what He says He is, (love, truth, good, faithful, a gentle shepherd…) and so our desire grows to look to Him instead of the world for our cues, for our approval, for our praise, and to have our desires met.

So how does God want His girls to dress? I guess I’m primarily writing to ladies. If you are a guy reading this you are welcome, but a modesty article for you is for another time and place. Can I give you a small, kind hint though? We want you to be modest, too. Please don’t make us have to look at you in the current skin-tight, two-sizes-too-small clothes. The truth is: we’re more grossed out than turned on.

So, for us ladies, when we read 1 Peter 3:1-6, 1 Timothy 2, 3:11, and Titus 2:1-5, we see some commands that our King gives specifically for women. And then we think about how we are going to dress.

Modesty has to do with our heart and our spirit. I won’t go into that in detail because you are going to get another post on that. But when King Jesus is flowing out of our lives, it is going to affect how we view our body and how we clothe it.

Is your body evil? Did God make a mistake when He first created Eve and her lovely body? Why was she naked, yet today we are concerned with clothing our bodies?

Time for a history lesson. Go back to the Garden of Eden, where Adam and Eve are basking in an unadulterated, pure, holy relationship with God, naked and unashamed. When God made them, He pronounced them very good. I hope you are connecting the dots that He created YOU very good also.

But, when Eve was deceived by the serpent, Satan, and she and Adam, out of the desire for knowledge that Satan convinced Eve God was keeping from them, ate the fruit of the tree that they had been forbidden to eat, immediately their relationship with God was severed. Suddenly, they knew they were naked, and they did their best to find something, anything, to cover themselves before God would find all this out.

Why did they suddenly realize they were naked? Before, they only knew of a pure, holy, relationship with God. Now they were no longer innocent (think of an innocent toddler- are they self-conscious of their body? No.) Their sin brought shame, as sin always does.

Adam and Eve tried to hide their shame. They tried to cover themselves with fig leaves wrapped around their bodies. Yet still, their shame persisted, and when they heard God coming, the God that previously they had enjoyed such sweet fellowship with, they hid.

At the end of the evening’s interaction with God, He covered their shame by shedding animals’ innocent blood to make them coats of skin.

We have inherited the sin nature from Adam. God set the precedent for covering our bodies: not merely wrapping around our private areas like Adam and Eve tried to do, but a full covering for our bodies.

Our culture tells us to suggest, entice, and expose. But, as daughters of the King, we will desire for our clothing to cover, hide, and show restraint.

Tell me what you’re thinking, and stay tuned as we try to get practical on beauty and the heart of God.

Blogging credits to Wendy Weaver

Photography credits to Kinza and Ginger Weaver

Part 1

As our first guest writer, my mom; Wendy, agreed to write this post for us. When I was younger I remember asking my mom why my dad almost never told me that this or that was or wasn’t modest. My friend’s dads always had a say in what they wore. Then mom told me that she had always felt it was her responsibility to find out what Dad wanted for our family and then shop accordingly. That always sticks with me and if I ever have my own family I am going to take on that responsibility, too. -Kinza

In a world that tells me that I must stand up for myself, where self-esteem is all important, and God-esteem is mocked, that I need to express myself and my individuality; why would I care about modesty?

Modest: Keeping due measure, modest 1. having or showing a moderate opinion of one’s own value, abilities, achievements, etc.; not vain or boastful; unassuming 2. not forward; shy or reserved 3. behaving, dressing, speaking, etc. in a way that is considered proper or decorous; decent 4. moderate or reasonable; not extreme 5. quiet and humble in appearance, style, etc.; not pretentious.

Modesty: the quality or state of being modest; specific. a) unassuming or humble behavior b) lack of excess or pretention; moderation c) decency, decorum.

Moderate: within bounds, restraint, avoiding excess or extremes of average or medium quality, amount, scope, range, etc.

Modest- Kosmios- orderly, decorous; of good behavior, modest.

So why would I want to be modest? How do I determine what is modest?

It starts with a worldview. We all have one, whether we grew one by purpose or default. It has to do with a King and His kingdom.

His name is King Jesus and He is my Father, by adoption. How did that happen? Well, go back, back, back to creation. God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit spoke the world into being. (Genesis 1; especially verse 26, John 1:1) The plot thickens: the perfect world, a man and his wife created in God’s image, and their choice to disobey their God, and lose fellowship with Him.

Perfection turned dark as the effects of sin compounded on the earth. But (hear the angels singing?) the promised Redeemer, God the Son, King Jesus, was obedient to His Father, and came to this earth as a baby, and submitted to death on a cross to Deliver, to make a way that we can have a relationship restored with God. The best part is, He didn’t stay dead . He defied death and rose. He lives in Heaven today!

This free gift, this Salvation, is extended to all mankind. Whosoever will may come and partake freely! It’s for you and for me!

And this is why I care about modesty. When I repented of my sin against my Creator, and began to walk with Him, my desires changed. Before, I loved the world (1 John 2:15, 16); Now I love my King, my Redeemer, and want to glorify Him.

So, I have chosen a Kingdom. You can choose too. There is a kingdom that opposes King Jesus’. It is ruled by an angel who defied God, and he and his followers were removed from Heaven. He roams the earth today (1 Peter 5:8) and does everything in his power to fight against and lure members of God’s Kingdom away. His goal for you and me is eternal damnation.

Like Adam and Eve, we are created in the image of God. That is our intrinsic value, our incalculable worth. In His Kingdom, as women, we have high value; at the foot of the cross there is equality, and this brings the freedom for people to treat each other with respect and honor.

When we become part of the Kingdom of God, and continue surrendering to Him, we are radically changed. Before, we exalted self. Now, we want our King to be lifted up. Before, we were concerned that I am seen and heard, but now we want King Jesus to be seen in us. Before, we clung tenaciously to self. Now, the good of the kingdom- our brothers and sisters in the Lord, is what we seek. We have turned from rejecting our image-bearer to desiring to reflect Him with all we have!

How does this all fit with modesty? Hang on, we’re getting to it!

Blogging credits to Wendy Weaver

Photo credits to Damarus Wadel

Everyone knows what the view would be if they looked out across a public beach filled with people. Women and girls would be “dressed” in next to nothing and swimming and hanging out with whatever guys happened to be around. The saddest part is that the whole scene is viewed as acceptable. We girls and women in this generation need to think about how guys see this picture of immodesty and more importantly, how God does. Whenever girls expose most of their bodies it very strongly and seriously tempts guys to lust and worse. Sure, they can choose how they respond to this temptation, but we, the girls, are the only ones who can choose whether or not they are tempted to adultery in their hearts. The biggest area where immodesty is rampant is definitely swimming. For some reason girls think that it is okay to publicly undress if it is for swimming; somehow what they would be quite embarrassed to be seen wearing in church is totally fine to wear with guys at the beach. Let me tell you, it is very possible, and can be very cute to swim modestly. Another question is, is it even necessary to swim with guys? In my home we have the rule that we will not swim with people of the opposite sex (excluding immediate family and little children). At beaches you can usually walk further to get away from the crowds, and the guys, before you swim.

In Proverbs 5:18 it says, “Let thy fountain be blessed and rejoice with the wife of thy youth.” God has designed men and women to be attracted to each other, but the verse also stated THE wife, not more than one; only one. Using swimming as an excuse to be immodest is helping men to disobey the Bible. Most times it’s the guys who protect us girls, but in this area we need to love and protect guys by keeping our bodies modestly covered. As mentioned in John 4:20, how can we love God, whom we have not seen, if we cannot love man, whom we have seen? Dressing immodestly to attract guys’ attention (whether knowingly or not) is not loving men.

As I mentioned before, there are many cute and modest ways to dress for swimming. I would like to share a few resources with you.

I hope you are having a great summer with lots of sunshine and swimming! Please remember our glory as women to protect men during these summer months.

Blogging by Kinza Weaver